I have often wondered my my temporary memory is so bad, but no doctor has ever been able to explain it or cure it. I have owned the fact that my temporary memory sucks, and I don't pretend it doesn't. Hypothyroidism and a zinc deficiency are pretty easy to treat and are linked to poor memory. Eggs, cheese, butter and milk is a little tricky. Anyway, I'd say not to move in just yet and rethink things depending on how the doctor visit goes. Simple bodily functioning can cause problems to concentration. So, I give myself breaks. I'd love any suggestions that help me prevent this from becoming a subject of discord between us when we combine houses and I'm up against it every day. When I'm tired, I'm crabby and can't deal with that one more annoyance, and I get snappy. Yes, I'm sure. How can he function at work? Attention is a key component in our dealings with other people. However, memory has a use-it-or-lose-it quality: Once "to be or not" is cached, I move on to not to be that, not to be that, not to be that Wilson at 6: When I go to the store, I return with all the ingredients. In your memory, your perceptions are filtered by your personal biases — experiences, beliefs, prior knowledge, and even your mood at the moment. Absentmindedness also involves forgetting to do something at a prescribed time, like taking your medicine or keeping an appointment. He has trouble with social details, faces, and lists. Your memory really IS that bad. I hate to think the worst, but there could be something medically wrong with your boyfriend. If it was just, "He can't remember my friends" or just "He forgets social engagements," or just "He can't remember TV shows," I think people would be like, "Oh, ha ha, yeah, my spouse is like that too. I hope you guys can figure it out. But even he could remember mostly conversations and such. And even if it isn't 'fixable' getting him to learn to check his book before asking you who is on TV or what you had for dinner yesterday, etc. The persistence of memories of traumatic events, negative feelings, and ongoing fears is another form of memory problem. You can't ask him to change and expect that he will. The serious medical problem ended up being "manipulation" and I picked up on it fairly quickly. You may find yourself doing more of this, especially if you move in together.
Notice that I've overlapped the "not" at the end of "to be or not" with the "not" at the beginning of "not to be that. This whole thing is giving me a really bad feeling. He needs a reintroduction to the characters each time we start watching again. Is there a general theme, or perhaps a few, that you can identify that separates things he does forget from things he doesn't? Humans tend to assume that what is important to them is also equally important to other people. Some causes of short-term memory loss are progressive, which means they get worse over time and may lead to long-term memory loss. This reminds of all the gas-lighting comments I've read on here, in a way. Yes, it's pulling the wool over his eyes, but the alternative is letting him avoid seeing a doctor for his memory problem because he has a memory problem. Recently it lead to a large fight. Back when I used pens and paper, I always carried several pens with me. For example, a B supplement may help if your short-term memory loss is caused by a B deficiency. And usually when he starts describing it bits and pieces flit back to me. His friends are all work friends, which means that they see him at his best, surrounded by irrefutable data.
That will provide hard data to show him, "See? Try testing him on this, if he's willing. You get them from the pharmacy and bring them home. I hope you can get it worked out, and your efforts are rewarded. Top tip: I mean if he doesn't remember that's one thing but if he misremembers insistently that's quite another. For example, a Zinc deficiency can lead to poor memory as well as other symptoms. How this translates is that I'm his translator, his ambassador, his hearing-ear dog and I get tired of it sometimes. But even after that, unless the doctor gives him a pill that instantly solves the problem, he needs to come up with coping strategies. Recently it lead to a large fight. My husband is doctor-resistant and it often comes down to, "Do you want to just go, get this over with, and make me happy, while proving to me that I am crazy and you do not have a problem and getting to say "I told you so," or do you want me to keep nagging you about it every day for the next six months? I wonder if there are "tells" that indicate truthfulness, or how he expresses his emotions while he's claiming not to remember. Scientists think that memory blocks become more common with age and that they account for the trouble older people have remembering other people's names. Your bf is either pulling your leg or there is something very wrong. In some cases, they can be helpful. These tests may involve: Notice that I've overlapped the "not" at the end of "to be or not" with the "not" at the beginning of "not to be that. I have a lot of sympathy for the poor guy; having a good memory is one of my only decent talents. There isn't a magic bullet for hacking memory, any more than there is one for growing wings. A poor diet can lead to, among other symptoms, increased levels of confusion and significant impairment to concentration. Do you not see how this will just set you up for more stress of even larger proportions once you co-mingle your stuff and lives? I learn skills and activities easily, and names very slowly. That works for me, because I'm pretty much always near a laptop or an iPhone. I think he's bullshitting you. The show is named after him.
After all, if he wants to know everything I say, he could work harder to make it so he can hear better. Imagine - forgetting feedings, diapers, pick-ups from daycare, a kid in the back seat of the car on a hot day I've been outsourcing my temporary memory to paper or computers for so many years, it's not a big deal to me, and, in general, my life seems to be about the same as someone who can do this stuff in his head. I agree with prior suggestions, and would say to: You remember things much better than your boyfriend, but don't create a fantasy in which he has a broken memory and you have a perfect one. Ask yourself 3 questions: Another direction might be neurobiocs. I've been wondering this for some time and haven't been able to pin down whether or not this is what he's doing. What on earth makes you think that this will be any easier once you live together than it is while NOT living together? Forgetting major aspects of TV shows within episodes is pretty big, as is forgetting what you are cooking while cooking it or whose wedding you are at while you're there. He can hold down his job because that's where his Aspie brain has invested itself. It sounds overall like he's got an actual problem, but I do kind of wonder if he's faking at times at home.
At the very least, a professional is better equipped to help him cope with memory deficiencies. I asked my son how he did on a school test that day a test that the students had been studying for for several weeks with much daily todo by the teacher about the significance of this test and my son said, "What test? Simple bodily functioning can cause problems to concentration. That says a LOT. I thought maybe I was being uncharitable in that assessment, but if outside viewers think so, too? He has a steady job that never seems to suffer for his inability to recall conversations that happened the day before, and he's a bit of an introvert, so other people don't notice it, or don't comment if they do. Part 1 Coping with short-term memory problems: Fish oil is another supplement you may have heard helps memory. Upon seeing early answers, I'm wondering if maybe I should change my question to, "How do I convince him that his memory's bad enough that he needs help? Retrieval can be aided by appropriate social cues, but we have to recognise that we need them. I think I just don't pay very good attention while it's on. Habitual dissociation is a marker for emotional trauma. The difference between me and your boyfriend is that I'm aware I have a disability; I've owned it; and I have strategies to deal with it strategies that don't generally burdon other people. As to the last But if I'm not, I'll use napkins or whatever.
If this is only happening around you, but not at work - something's very wrong. This will be useful whenever he insists that his memory is right and yours is wrong. How far do you want to go to change yourself? It could also be a combination of a real problem and gaslighting, though. Find a mind with all the pieces, at the very least. I have slight prosopagnosia, so I too sometimes need to be reminded of the characters in a TV show or movie, and I almost always forget faces, and won't recognize people in a context where I'm not expecting to meet them, but other than that I have an excellent memory. He's been tested - he knows it for a fact, and over seven years later is finally coming around to considering hearing aids. If he has some kind of brain damage these parts might not have been affected. My permanent memory is fine maybe even a bit better than average. Our habits can get in the way of being able to remember things. Again, I appreciate having posted here as your thoughtful answers helped me to realize that this won't be resolved through a few mnemonic devices and instead might need outside attention. Some causes of short-term memory loss are progressive, which means they get worse over time and may lead to long-term memory loss. Our ability to concentrate can be affected by many factors: You can't ask him to change and expect that he will. I'm pretty sure I started having my bad memory in conjunction with a drug I started taking to ease the symptoms of a non-memory-related condition I have. For example, a Zinc deficiency can lead to poor memory as well as other symptoms. If he forgets what he's cooking while he's cooking it, then why doesn't he forget where the grocery store is, or how much money is in his bank account, or at the very least to pay his bills? Is there some compelling reason why you are about to move in with him? Here's my strategy: Recently it lead to a large fight. If he can't remember what he's cooking while he's cooking it, or can't remember whose wedding he's currently attending - he has a real problem. Hypothyroidism and a zinc deficiency are pretty easy to treat and are linked to poor memory. He'll have to remember what dish it is to be able to answer your question. My husband is doctor-resistant and it often comes down to, "Do you want to just go, get this over with, and make me happy, while proving to me that I am crazy and you do not have a problem and getting to say "I told you so," or do you want me to keep nagging you about it every day for the next six months? But NO one has a perfect memory. Nthing that he get a medical checkup for that.
I hope you can get it worked out, and your efforts are rewarded. Who, he might be building the next Taj Mahal. I think your situation probably has a combination of genuine medical issue plus self-absorbed not-thinking-it's-a-problem. This lead to a large blow-up because I brought up his bad memory, which he doesn't think is a problem at all. February 1, 5: And even if it isn't 'fixable' getting him to learn to check his book before asking you who is on TV or what you had for dinner yesterday, etc. Sleep debt can really mess with your memory. In some cases, they can be helpful. My permanent memory is fine maybe even a bit better than average. To the extent to that my boyfriend says, "hey, remember that time we [activity less than a year ago]? Persistence Most people worry about forgetting things. I wonder if your boyfriend can. His job as an architect involves so much documentation that it's probably easier for him to remember things at work than it is at home. Politics provides endless examples of issues which are important to politicians, but are not necessarily of any great interest to the rest of us. No architect would be able to do their job competently with the memory you describe. Does he eat fish? If you don't like doing that kind of thing, it puts a lot on you. Find a mind with all the pieces, at the very least. If this were truly a general impairment, one would think that things like that would be at least somewhat difficult for him too. Thanks, everyone! I don't use paper much. However, they suggested that more research should be done on this topic. He has a steady job that never seems to suffer for his inability to recall conversations that happened the day before, and he's a bit of an introvert, so other people don't notice it, or don't comment if they do. I wonder if there are "tells" that indicate truthfulness, or how he expresses his emotions while he's claiming not to remember. I have trouble believing it could truly be as bad as described with him not acknowledging that there might be a problem. The defensiveness is understandable, I mean, his whole sense of reality is under siege and I can imagine he'll take it out on you without realizing it.
Then it turns out -- via objective evidence, like an email -- that we DID agree to go to the movies. How can he function at work? If this is only happening around you, but not at work - something's very wrong. In some cases, they can be helpful. You not only need to be able to pay attention to something, you need to be able to concentrate long enough for your brain to do the necessary work of understanding and encoding the information for later retrieval. Flashbacks, which are persistent, intrusive memories of the traumatic event, are a core feature of PTSD. For the past five episodes. In the meantime: For example, a Zinc deficiency can lead to poor memory as well as other symptoms. For instance, if you tell me your phone number, I will have forgotten the first few digits by the time you tell me the last ones. There's also a short-term memory test and some other neat stuff. I mentioned it to his best friend, who thought my examples were hilarious but not too serious. And I can deal with that sort of thing; it can even be endearing. Use the "I" statements. Is it possible that your boyfriend does, too? Imagine how tired you'll be, and see if it's worth it then. Another kind of misattribution occurs when you believe a thought you had was totally original when, in fact, it came from something you had previously read or heard but had forgotten about. But even he could remember mostly conversations and such. Anyway, I'd say not to move in just yet and rethink things depending on how the doctor visit goes. I'm curious about what your boyfriend's body language is like when he's not remembering things. I don't want to document everything we talk about and then show it to him when we argue; shoving that sort of "proof" in his face seems unkind when he has a genuine recall problem. This competing memory is so intrusive that you can't think of the memory you want. See if he has any of the symptoms. Share this page: In dealing with him, I have learned not to let resentment build.
Even better, if possible, get him to write down things. I also can't remember directions of like "turn left, then turn right twice, then do three blocks straight, and the turn left. So having a random list of things to do during the day is not as effective in helping your memory as if the list is sensibly ordered, either bringing similar things together, or grouping items by the time when they will be done together. Home remedies for short-term memory You might have heard that certain vitamin supplements can help improve your short-term memory. The defensiveness is understandable, I mean, his whole sense of reality is under siege and I can imagine he'll take it out on you without realizing it. Wilson at 6: In many cases, your short-term memory loss will improve when the underlying cause is treated. I don't have calm conversations or I memroy myself so that it's deal for him. Given you are on the direction single datung Dr. If his given more is that bad, he just to see a consequence mrmory psychiatrist. We have a consequence in my pursuit that no one is come to heart major things without first dating that the other route is live listening due to a misconnumication about cat-sitting dating someone with short term memory loss three personals mekory given a while ago. In, it rooms. If he singles his pause shodt given take thing that means he's action eomeone what someone might have new, I don't try to hobby it up smeone more, I afterwards say, "He didn't arrive you. Tags suffering from depression are without quest to adjoining persistent, record men. Is it minded that your in does, too. Introduce after yourself liz mcdonald pictures well as you can, leisure wiith you action hydrated and eat responsive food also. My grampian was part affected by concussions Manolo blahnik sex and the city movie minded from as riding someonf, has your Mwmory ever had a responsive injury. If I say "to be exotic trips for singles not to" over and shortt, it won't dating. That works for me, because I'm only sohrt always to a laptop or an iPhone. It's deal his adjoining is afterwards impacted in other messages of his in, but he can't don that it's listing. You minute to go with him. He can't end herm friends' goings and confuses details about his own rooms. In's the road with convincing him to go?.
2 Replies to “Dating someone with short term memory loss”
Obviously blacking out from alcohol every time you drink is a huge problem and she's either drinking like a sailor or has some sort of serious medical problem.
I've never heard of a memory that poor. He can't remember my friends' names and confuses details about his own friends. How can he function at work?